Saturday, October 11, 2008

Learning to let go

Feeling slow this week. Lots of little stresses have surfaced. Need a new roof, still waiting on lab results from the mole. Husband dealing with challenges and work and I’m feeling like nothing has come easy. I’m out of the flow. And, true to my nature, I’m trying to control the Universe instead of learning the lesson and letting go. The more stressed life gets, the more I attempt to micro-manage my household and the daily tasks. I become more controlling and feisty at home – not good for the relationship. I have a hard time focusing on work and generally, I’m tense and even a little scared. "If you don't handle it all," my mind tells me, "the world will fall apart." And I buy into that false mantra and busy myself with things that don't need taking care of. And the stress I feel definitely amps up the arthritis with pain and fatigue. But, this isn't working for me anymore, so now I'm learning to surrender to the circumstance. I’ve become more mindful. I’ve meditated. I’ve taken care of the things I can influence and given up the others – like when is that darn doctor going to call – and today I’m feeling energized and back in rhythm despite pushing a stroller around the zoo all day yesterday (a task that would usually leave me stiff and hurting). I'm learning.


Cathy said...

That is excellent news! It seems that many RA woman I have met struggle with the same issue of trying to control things and have a difficult time asking for help, myself included. I have found that when I do as you are doing, let some things go and meditate, my body thanks me by feeling better. Cathy

Cathy said...

One of the biggest things that has helped me with my RA is letting things go. I read once that many RA patients have a hard time asking for help. That is so true for me. I try to take on everyone's worries and stresses as my own. Glad to see you working through your own things. Cathy