Tired from play

Today we went to the park and simply playing in the playground and getting up and down from the sandbox, wiping, lifting, hauling gear, left me feeling sore. Even the times when my daughter played independently, I found myself standing on hard cement, supervising from a distance. But standing for hours on end, and taking part in the other activities – just basic play – have worn me out and left me feeling discouraged. The last thing I want to do now is exercise. It’s been tough trying to maintain and do the things I want and need to do during the course of my regular day AND still feel good enough to exercise. Am I making excuses to get out of the a regular exercise routine? Am I weak? Some days maybe, but most days are so busy that my body literally sends off alarms by shooting pain through every joint telling me to slow down. Maybe this winter, I will consider swimming, which is not my thing, but may be more comfortable than a walk around the neighborhood on the days when my joints have had enough.

Leche lifts and other workouts

This week I worked to increase the activity level in my days – without causing unnecessary or even necessary discomfort. I just wanted to find a way to move more, without, in all honesty, exercising more. Instead of sitting for hours on end while working, I made a point to get up and stretch every hour. While grocery shopping I parked in the middle of the lot. O.K., I know I could have gone further and parked that car in the last space, but at least a made a small change instead of circling for minutes to find a space next to the door. I played on the floor with my daughter. Took her to the nature park for a walk on the wooded trails and danced with her for minutes at a time.
Many of these things I do regularly, but this week felt like a shift. Because while I’m out of my regular exercise routine –though I intend too start up again Sunday, she says optimistically – I am becoming more conscious of all the ways I can build exercise and energy into my day. Acknowledging what I am doing well – instead of acknowledging the hours I spend on my couch watching what others are doing well in the Olympics – felt better than beating myself up over what I’m not doing. It also helped me become aware of how I am using my body and spending my time during the day. And with that I began to identify the other ways I can use my body.
Case in point: When I poured my daughter’s milk into her cereal this a.m., I also took a couple of extra seconds and did five bicep curls with each arm while holding the milk jug. OK, so the leche lifts won’t replace a regular strength-training workout, but it did make me laugh AND it certainly is a better workout than I get from lifting, oh say, the mug of Vienna Roast I drink every morning. Who knows, maybe I’ll try working my triceps when I open the green beans for dinner. Hmmm. I wonder how much a bottle of wine weighs?

Stuck in my head

Changes, say the experts, are best made on both a mental and physical level. You’ve got to change the way you think. Instead of focusing on how much you hate exercise, you begin to focus on your belief that exercise is good because of the benefits it brings. Then, while shifting your belief system, you must take action to make changes that stick. You’ve got to actually go out and do the exercise, you can’t simply think of it’s benefits. You’ve got to skip that slice of pizza, instead of thinking about skipping it. In other words, you’re not going to get healthier by thinking about eating less and exercising more – which is about where I am now. I believe that our physical reality is formed by the way we think. Often, in the best case, those beliefs then actually spur us into action. We believe we will be healthier, feel better live longer if we exercise and that belief becomes so important that it overrides our previous belief that exercise is Hell.
But right now, I’m stuck in my head. I’m doing the meditation, thinking about the changes I’ve made and others I want to make, journaling – taking care of my mental health. But I’m not following up with action. I know I should limit my pizza intake, but don’t. I have not exercised, because I don’t feel like it. The steps I took in the beginning, the combined mental/physical approach is now simply all in my mind. And, that’s not going to get me where I want to be. So this week, I’ll work on balancing that with action.

Headed for the long haul

Like most toddlers my daughter is a ball of energy and she can move in ways I lost years ago. She can squat so that her bottom is but a half inch off the ground and peer at an ant moving across the cement without ever losing her balance. She can roll off the couch until she’s hanging upside down, her back bent into an arch, her hands dancing in the air. Watching her reminds me of two things: 1. How a healthy body was built to be so efficient, and flowing and easy; and 2. How badly I need to get into shape. For her. For me. And to shore up and protect what little bit of this body I have left working for me. I’ve let my exercise routine go. I’ve got caught up in the activity of summer. And although, I’m hardly a couch potato, I need to get back into the exercise routine as a thank you to this battered body who keeps moving despite all its struggle. Stronger muscles do take the pressure off my weak joints and I feel better. And, I want to keep up with our daughter for a long time to come. So, now I’ll work toward longevity. I’m certainly not graceful, my creaking hips often rebel, but they can walk me around the neighborhood and the grocery store. I don’t move or twist or squat like my daughter, but I can chase her around the room and kneel down over the tub to give her a bath. So now I’ll use her strength and health as my motivation to keep going. To keep on doing the things that are good for me so that I’m creaking around for a long time to come.

Good time off

Just got back from vacation – a week in central Oregon and then a trip to Mt. Hood, the state’s highest peak and part of the stunning Cascade Mountains.

I feel great. Relaxed, ready to return to work, connected to my family and myself and if anything those good feelings are a reminder at how far, how exhausted, how stressed I can become without regular time off. Or time away. Or sleep. Or meditation. Or regular exercise. All those things rejuvenate the body and the spirit and it takes a combination of the two to foster good health. Once you’re feeling good it’s easier to maintain the changes you’re trying to make. Success breeds success. When I’m feeling good, I’m motivated to do the things that help me feel even better. But in the daily crush of deadlines and diapers, I can lose site of it all. Vacation restored my vision. And reminded me that regular time off – even a few minutes of silence a day – can have restorative benefits. Now, I’ve got to make time to do it.