Do your best, whatever that is

Every piece of my body hurts this week. I’ve been feeling so strong and good and now I’m experiencing the law of diminishing returns.

Doing too much, wearing out, and hurting more. So, my walks and everything else -- doing dishes, lifting baby, sitting at my desk – have been a struggle. And I’m not good with cutting myself slack. I feel as though I’m being a wimp and I find myself justifying to my husband and myself why I’m so tired, why I can’t move as fast and as hard as I have been.

That is until Sherry Johnson-Traver snapped me out of that mindset. She lives with osteoarthritis and recently lost her husband to lung cancer. She is also a water aerobics instructor and certified aquatic fitness trainer.

In her classes Johnson-Traver asks her students to give their 100 percent each day but to be gentle with themselves and recognize that their 100 percent will fluctuate -- even from moment to moment.

That stuck with me. Some days my 100 percent will be all out, strong and fast and hard. Other days, even when I’m giving my best effort, I’m barely moving.

On those days I’m still working hard – often harder – than I do on the days it comes easy. My effort is 100 percent but my body feels mired in mud. Johnson-Traver’s comment reminded me that it’s O.K.

Each day will be different, but I can still do my best in any moment if I listen to my body, respect it and give thanks that it is still moving and working despite incredible odds.

So, my 100 percent might be different today than it was yesterday, but whatever the outcome, it’s O.K. as long as I’m out there giving it my best. Are you giving 100 percent today in this moment?

Experiencing the new....

Experiencing the new.....rheumatologist! Having to find a new rheumatologist is the inevitable when you move 2,000 miles across country. I can honestly say this is one type of change that is extremely difficult to deal with.

I had such an amazing patient-doctor relationship with my previous rheumatologist in Phoenix. He valued my opinion and respected the fact that I know my body better than anyone else. He was aware that I take a proactive approach to my health care with this disease. Having rheumatoid arthritis for the past 7 years has made me pay attention to my body more than I ever. I know what makes me flare...I know what my body requires...I know what side effects have resulted from certain medicines, etc. If we simply pay attention, our body communicates to us in many ways.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the lobby waiting to see my new rheumatologist and was flipping through magazines to pass time. I came across the latest Arthritis Today magazine and immediately flipped open to the Achieving Change article written by Polly Campbell. I had read the article prior to this but had not actually seen it in magazine print. It was a truly calming moment for me. I was absolutely fearing the change of a new rheumatologist but after seeing the article and my picture, it put me at ease. It quickly reminded me of the motto I live by...."I refuse to let this disease get the best of me." In doing so, I need the assistance and partnership of a medical professional.

Feeling strong and powerful

I’m starting to see the pay off from my regular walks. I’m a few pounds lighter, feeling stronger and actually enjoying the times I can get out and go. Emotionally I feel better about myself and something else has happened, that I didn’t believe would: I feel less stressed.

Sure the experts say exercise is a major way to combat stress, but I am not an overly anxious person and I didn’t feel like I’d notice a difference. I do. Part of it is the physiological change that occurs when I fire my muscles up. But I think a major part of the mood shift is simply that I get outside, where it’s quiet, and I do something for good myself. I rarely get 30 minutes of quiet at home. Exercise is a good excuse to get it in. I return feeling powerful and peaceful.

And when you’re living with a disease that often makes you feel weak and vulnerable, personal power is a big deal. Many of us are used to taking pills and meeting with doctors and working to curb, control or counteract what the arthritis is doing to our bodies. What if we decided to work with it? I think exercise is a way to do that.

I can modify my workout to match my energy level. I can move my body – in some way – even on the bad days. And despite the arthritis, exercise always leaves me feeling stronger, and powerful and even healthy. I’m going for longevity here. I want to be as strong and as active for as long as I can be. Exercise, movement, stretching – I think those things will give momentum for the long haul. Don’t be confused, though, I’m not some poster child for regular exercise. There are days I skip it, hate it, whine about it. You know from reading this Blog that my regular sessions have been, well, irregular. But it’s clear to me now, that I feel a whole lot better when I fit it in, and that’s a feeling that comes without taking a pill. For me, that’s enough to keep going.

Making some moves

If you’re looking at a list of my favorite activities you won’t see ice skating, or even roller skating on it. These old bones don’t like to fall.

Running is another one of those to-be-avoided activities – unless I have to chase after my toddler – which quite frankly it seems that I do most of the time now.

Also not included on the “things-I-like-to-do” list – shopping. It’s true that I love nice new clothes. But the physical effort of wandering across the hard floors of the mall, trying things on and working to keep my ankles from exploding takes way too much energy. I tend to get in and get what I need and get out within an hour.

Just so happens, in fact, that the activities I enjoy the most require, well, very little activity. On my list of favorites you’ll find reading, writing, good conversation over a long dinner out. I love to travel – and usually do some hiking and sightseeing so that clearly involves some movement. And I’m a big golfer. For the number of strokes I tally and the extra yards I cover while walking to find my ball the sport becomes almost an aerobic workout.

But looking at my list you can clearly see a trend – I don’t like to move much. For fun or otherwise. I prefer to use the remote, park close and have my husband take out the garbage. But that’s not at all good for my body. And, if I’m honest, it’s downright lazy.

So, in addition to my daily workout, I’ve decided to look for ways of incorporating more movement into my life. I’m not talking another hour of exercise. I’m just talking about three minutes of stretches for every hour I sit in front of the computer. I’m parking further away from the store now, so I get a few extra steps in. When I’m down on the floor playing with my daughter, I manage to sneak in a few sit-ups (very few). I’m walking to the mailbox, instead asking my husband to pick up the post. Mostly I’m just building my awareness and looking for ways to retain the strength and movement that I have left in this stiff body by adding activity back into my list of daily activities. What do you do to keep moving? How do add activity and energy to your daily life?

Let me know, I'd love to hear about it, in the meantime, I’ve got some stretches to do.

Staying honest

This Blog is keeping me honest. Last week, my workout routine languished, but I promised in these pages, to do better. Once I shared that with all of you, I knew I had to make good on my promise.
Psychologists say that a critical component to making a change stick, is social support. And it’s also essential for those of us dealing with arthritis. There are days, when I feel exhausted even before I climb out of bed and I question whether pouring a bowl of Cheerios is worth the ache and effort. Pain can leave you feeling alone and isolated. But friends and family keep you connected to other things in life that are just as compelling but a whole lot more fun.
When it comes to making lifestyle changes, social support also makes you accountable. It’s harder to make excuses or get away with lazy behavior when I know I’m going sit down and share my experience with all of you. It’s harder to skip a workout, when I’ve told my husband 12 hours earlier, “I’m walking no matter what.” And after the exercise, when I’m feeling stiff and sore, it often helps just to have someone to vent to for only a minute.
I’ve made a commitment to myself to live a healthier life. And by sharing it, by saying it out loud and writing it down, I’ve also made a commitment to all of you that I will give it my best shot.
Seek out your own support group. Maybe there are a few close friends or a family member you can go to when the aches are awful or you just need someone to keep you on track. Maybe a neighbor is trying to start her own exercise routine and you can support each other. A support group is great when you need to commiserate, but you know what? Those people will also be there to celebrate with when we reach our goals.

Less than perfect

I’d like to say that I rebounded from my infrequent week of workouts, and stayed on a consistent routine this week, eating healthily, walking regularly, but I didn’t. And I’ve got a long list of excuses why. Thing is, none of that matters. Excuses won't help my health. I came up against some obstacles and they beat me only a month into the New Year. I didn’t eat horribly – just more red meat than I originally planned. And I didn’t exercise at all. I do feel slightly guilty and disappointed, but, mostly I'm working on staying positive. Beating myself up only makes it harder to make changes, according big-wig behavior experts. I also need to remember that a week off isn’t a reason to give up. So, today I regrouped. I will walk tomorrow. I’ve already scheduled the time and my husband will take care of the baby and any other household craziness while I spend an hour exercising. I’ve laid out my clothes, including my waterproof jacket. Put my shoes by the door. I’ve taken steps to make it easy for me to get out and get moving – no matter which excuses threaten to derail me. Hopefully, my determination and planning will help keep me on track. Tune in next week.