Friday, April 25, 2008

Jumping like a frog

O.K., if I wasn’t motivated before to be healthy and stronger physically, all it took was a dance class, or specifically a “creative movement” class with my two-year-old. She had no problem jumping like a frog, her little muscles pulling and pushing, her knees and hips limber and she propelled (O.K. she barely got off the ground but she’s just learning) herself into the air and then dropped into a squat, fingers on the floor in front as though they were the tiny front legs of a frog.

Now, arthritis or not, a dance class of any kind, is the last thing on the list of things I hope to do before I die. Honestly, it’s not even on the list. But, my daughter loves to dance, so in an effort to do this parenting thing well, I signed her up. She squeals and hops and claps. I try to keep up -- when I’m not willing the second hand to move faster around the clock. But I want to do better and true, I also wouldn’t mind out-hopping a couple of the other more athletic mothers who seem to bound around the room like frogs preparing for the Olympic team.

These last four months I have talked about making healthy changes so that I can be a greater participant in my daughter’s life. This week I deeply connected with that premise. I’m not a good frog. My bunny isn’t bad (they don’t have to get as low to the ground) , but I’m not limber enough, or strong enough to jump around the gym without a few breaks. I could be, though. And I know I’m getting there. So, these little lifestyle changes that are helping me to lose weight and feel better are also part of a larger goal, now, to become the best mama frog in the bunch. Ribbet.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Taking a rest

As I sit here writing this, I’m trying to think of something inspirational or at least interesting to share about the process of change and personal growth. Or maybe some tip that might make it easier for all of us to live healthier lives. But I’ve got nothing. This week has been a grind. I’m working long hours, have had some other personal obligations in my off hours, I’ve had little energy to exercise and even less energy to do it. I don’t even want to exercise. I am eating well, throwing fruits and vegetables – even zucchini which I’m not a fan of – into everything I cook. But I’ve not been as active as usual. I knew there would be weeks like this – when it all just felt hard, when I felt lazy and worn. And this time, instead of over-doing, I’m backing off a bit. Trying to listen to my body. I’m tired. I hurt. I will rest instead of walk today. In the past, I would have viewed this fatigue as a frustrating setback, another reminder of the disease that sucks so much energy from me that sometimes I feel I have nothing left.

And I would have fought against it. I would have pushed on until my bones cried “uncle” and I lost a day to the pain and stiffness.

Today, though, and maybe from now on, I’ll listen to my body better. And in that, is some sort of success. Some sort of positive change. I’m paying attention. I’m aware of my feelings both physically and emotionally. I’m not looking for an excuse. I am tired. I am not a failure or a quitter. I am tired. Today, I am just tired. So, today, I will respect my body with rest. Tomorrow, rejuvenated, I will go for a walk.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Learning a little kindness

I ate well this week. Fish, chicken, turkey cooked at home with lots of vegetables and fruit. I took smaller portions, no snacks after dinner. Little meals throughout the day. No junk. You’d think I’d be happy about that. Instead, when I woke up this morning, I was thinking about what I didn’t do. I didn’t exercise – at least not much. At least not enough. And now I’m beating myself up about it.
That’s not a new thing. When I performed poorly in school, I mentally flogged myself. It bugs me when I burn dinner or something doesn’t turn out like I planned. But being tough on myself could make it harder for me to achieve my goals and even cause me to give up.
Behavioral experts talk about the importance of treating yourself with kindness if you want to enact lasting change. Psychologist Mark Leary has studied self-compassion and found that it’s a critical component when it comes to coping with rejection, and failure. Self compassion doesn’t mean shirking responsibility, people who are kind to themselves also tend to be less defensive, he says.
It’s simply a matter of acknowledging your intent, to do your best, and your humanity. Be responsible, but be kind because screw ups are a part of life.
So, I didn’t exercise much this week. O.K. I’m moving on now. The sun is up and it’s mild. Perfect day for a walk. And maybe on my way I’ll celebrate the things I did do right.

Friday, April 4, 2008

The focus on food

This weekend, we’re celebrating my sister’s birthday. As is tradition in my family, she gets to choose her dessert of choice, and we’ll celebrate with a special meal. Like most American families, many of our celebrations include special, often fattening foods. When it comes to my party, I’m on board with that, already looking forward to the berry pie I’ll request this summer.
But I’m a parent now, and I’m becoming much more conscious about what I eat and how I teach my daughter about food.
I’m also aware that it takes a lot of creative thinking to come up with fun ways to celebrate that don’t involve eating. Think about it. How many times have you planned to visit with friends over dinner? Rewarded yourself with a meal out after a hard week at work? Grabbed an ice cream cone on the way home from the kids’ baseball game.
Food is part of the regular routine and it’s part of some of the best moments of our lives. I’m finding it to be a challenge to come up with new ideas, fun activities and rewards that don’t focus on it.
Yet, since I’m working to make healthy changes in my life, a major part of that is to change the way I think about my life. I’m not going to turn away a piece of pie on my birthday, but maybe the celebration this year will also include a morning walk or an activity with friends instead of making it all about the meal.

What are some healthy ways you celebrate life's big occasions? Let me know.
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